Real eyes realise real liesToo broken to be fixed. I can't do this alone. It has come to the point where I can't believe anymore. I can't believe in anything anymore. I don't know what to believe in. And because when I believe, it'll end up in disappointment and pain. People don't really care whether you're okay or not, I guess they are just curious at times. Interesting story to listen to, so why not? You know.. Living in a lie, having the sad, painful feeling of being used, of not being good enough, of all the shit revolving around you attacking you at once, it's hard. It's hard to live like this. One day everything will fall. Everything will break. I will break. So pathetic. As I sit here and just let life pass miserably, all I feel is numbness. I'm comfortably numb. Give up.. hang on.. give up.. hang on.. both are equally tough. So what do you do when you're on the edge? One more push and you're gone. I lost. I lost the war, the battle. The battle I was fighting alone. The battle against myself. I never once won any battles anyway. No surprise. Weak. So fucking weak. Letting everything, any small tiny thing affect you and bring you down. That sucks. Hell is on earth. Hell is in you. Everything is hell. Hell, hell, hell. Fuck.
"It occurred to me that there was a story behind the scar - maybe not as dramatic as the story of my wrists, but a story nonetheless - and the fact that everyone had a story behind some mark on their inside or outside suddenly exhausted me, the gravity of all those untold pasts."
"I didn't understand how someone could be both God and the devil.
How the same person could destroy you and save you."
BELIEVE